New Shoes and Staying Hydrated

So anyone who knows me even a little bit, and pays even minimal attention will notice I don't go ANYWHERE without my water bottle.  I honestly don't know when or why this started.  Ever since I can remember I've carried a water bottle with me every where.  I feel like it probably started when I went out to school in Rexburg Idaho right after graduating high school and discovered dry air.

Being from Kentucky I'm used to lots of humidity and when I moved out west I had the hardest time breathing and functioning without constant water.  One of my freshmen roommates joked that people from back east must have gills because having visited the east during summer she couldn't breathe because the air was too thick... I don't know how people don't just shrivel up without the humidity.

On my mission I had people always asking me why I had to have a water bottle, while I was serving in Buenos Aires Argentina and they have plenty of humidity, I was walking so much I needed to stay hydrated.  So all in all it's become just a habit to always have it with me.

Whenever I've started a new diet program or tried to get tips on how to make some changes to be healthier one of my biggest pet peeves has always been when someone tells me to drink more water... trust me I don't know how I could drink more than I already do, my water bottle isn't just for show, I fill it up fairly often!

So since I have been carrying a bottle around with me for the better part of 10 years I feel like I'm an expert on water bottles.  I've had a wide variety of different bottles, I've decided I prefer the kind that has a straw, I hate having a wide opening water bottle because without fail I always drip water all over me.  I'm not the most coordinated person (big shock I know!!). I have used bottle that claim to be drip free, unbreakable, and all kinds of claims.  But I want to let you all know I think I have found THE PERFECT water bottle.  Honestly, why else would I be writing such a long blog post about how much I love this water bottle.

My sister Trish actually told me about this, she has one just like it and loves her bottle and told me about how it really keeps drinks cold. And let me tell you how amazing this is!! I often like to sit in the sauna when I've finished my swim workouts, and because I take my water bottle every where, it comes into the sauna with me of course!  The bottle is metal and dark so it gets super hot to the point I can hardly touch it within a couple minutes of being in the sauna, but the water is always cold.  To prove this point, last Wednesday night I filled my bottle with ice and water before going to bed, and I woke up at 5am to go swimming.  It still had ice in it that morning and after I finished my swim I went to the sauna and sat in there for about 15 or 20 minutes, and by the time I came out of the sauna I had drank all the water in my bottle, but there was still ice in there from the ice I had put in there the night before!!  HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!

Anyways if you are trying to find a way to get in more water I highly recommend carrying a water bottle with you, and if you are in the market for a new water bottle I highly recommend this one:

I got it at TJ Maxx and there are a bunch of different colors and styles.  I'm a big fan :)

Also on a slightly different note, my trusty old tennis shoes have finally bit the dust so I bought these snazzy new ones.  I went to Blue Mile and they were super friendly, they let me try on several different types of shoes and what really sold me was their return policy.  I can wear these shoes as much as I want over the next 30 days and if I decide they just aren't for me I can return them with a full refund, even if they are well worn and muddy.  I don't plan to abuse this policy, but I love that I have this option in case I realize these aren't the shoes for me.   But I hope they are because they are dang cute don't you think?

Keeping it Real

One of the most important things about changing the way I eat was I had to feel like I still had control.  I think one of the reasons I've failed at diets in the past is because of how restrictive they are.  With lists of foods I can't ever eat.  My nutritionist has always been very adamant about the fact that I shouldn't think of any food as bad food, and I can still eat whatever I want, I just need to use good portion control and still load up on veggies.

With that being said I knew I couldn't keep eating fast food with the frequency I used to, and I still needed to make fairly drastic changes.  But what I loved with the freedom she made me feel like I had was that when I did splurge and have something maybe not so healthy I didn't feel like a failure, I knew I just needed to make healthier choices throughout the rest of the day, or the next day.  One indulgent meal isn't going to do my whole lifestyle change in, and isn't going to ruin me.

I heard an analogy once, if one tire goes flat you aren't going to go and slash the other 3, that's what it is with my lifestyle change.  Just because I might go off my plan one meal or one day doesn't mean I should throw in the towel completely.

 For some reason that is something that is so hard for me to come to terms with, and some how I've had a lot of peace with over the last 2 months since I've started making these changes.  I have been anything but perfect on following the plans and goals I've set, but never once have I felt like I've strayed so far that I should just give up entirely.

Also tonight my nutritionist brought a 10lbs weight with her and had me hold it and feel how heavy it was, and just wanted me to realize I've lost more than that.  When I have so much more to lose I have a hard time realizing how awesome it is that I've lost the weight I have, and holding the 10lbs weight and knowing I've lost more than that made me realize it isn't nothing.  It was an important reminder.

Lastly there are certain foods I know I shouldn't eat very often because they just aren't the best fuel for my body, but I still miss and crave them.  One of those things I have found myself missing and craving is pizza, which was surprising to me, because I ate a ton of pizza on my mission and I remember wishing I didn't have to eat another slice.

But now that I haven't had it in a while I've been missing it.  One of the recipes Elizabeth gave me was a veggie naan pizza with a homemade pizza sauce.  I've been meaning to make it for a week or so, but I finally got some naan bread and decided tonight was the night.  I was nervous because I've never made my own pizza let alone my own pizza sauce.  But I want to let y'all know how freaking AMAZING this pizza was, I had naan as the base, the AMAZING sauce on top and then topped it with grilled zucchini, yellow squash, asparagus, and tomatoes, then topped with mozzarella cheese.  I was shocked at how mouth wateringly good it was. It was also incredibly filling.

 I'm thinking this could be my Friday night pizza meal, maybe not every Friday, but this has definitely curbed my craving for pizza and I don't think I'll feel the need or want to go out and buy some anytime soon!! If you want more detailed instructions just let me know and I'll get you the recipe :)

Gaining Courage and a few tips from a beginner.

Ready for another long one guys? J

I just want to start off by saying I have the absolute best friends and support system.  I have been so overwhelmed by the response my blog post last week got, I honestly didn’t expect many people to read or respond.  Not only did many people comment on my facebook page, but sent me personal messages, text messages or have talked to me in person.  So many people have reached out and said that they have struggled with a lot of the same things I mentioned, people I never even knew struggled with similar issues. 

Because of all the positive reinforcement I’ve received I don’t feel nearly as self conscious as I used to when I go swim.  In fact last night when I went to the pool there was a hard core swimmer in the lane next to me and I noticed he had a kick board, buoy, and some weird hand flipper things, and so when he was catching his breath I worked up the courage to ask him about how he uses those things, and guess what guys… HE WAS SUPER NICE!! He even let me use the hand flipper things, which are to help you improve your stroke, and I found my stroke is atrocious… I totally need to work on that. 

And then when he left I still had a few more laps to go and as he walked away he said goodbye and encouraged me to keep swimming.  Normally I would be way too scared to talk to someone who was such a hard core swimmer, or athlete because I’m so not anywhere close to their level… but I learned that hey they are pretty nice people and he mentioned he’s self taught and everyone has to start somewhere. 

I’ve wanted to open up about this for a while but I’ve just been so nervous, and after the response I got I wish I had said something sooner!  I had some people ask what I’m doing and to offer tips and things like that.  Well I’m certainly not qualified in the least, but I thought I’d give a few points of things that I have changed in the past almost 2 months to make changes in the way I live my life.

First I have known for a while I needed to make a change, I was unhappy with my life and the way I was treating my body, but I didn’t really know where to start on my own and I didn’t really want to start.  When you are making changes like this you can’t be successful unless it’s something you really want. 

I’ve had many people encourage me to make healthier choices but I was always resistant to them because even though my brain knew I needed to make changes, my heart wasn’t in it yet.  I hope that makes sense.  I don’t know what changed in my heart, and I honestly don’t know what my over all motivation is, I just had something click one day that hey it’s now or never. 

Just about the time that my heart and brain clicked together I met my dietician.  The ward I was living in split, and due to the split and reorganization of boundaries she ended up in my ward and did a relief society activity about healthy foods.  I was really interested in learning more and talking to her but I was too shy so I didn’t say anything that night.  I can’t remember if it was the next day, or the day after but I got an email from my sister in law about a member of the church who is a dietician who was looking for new clients, turns out it was the same person in my ward.  This got me thinking about it more and more and I mentioned it to my mom and we decided that together we would meet with her and see what we thought. 

I was nervous about meeting with a dietician because like I mentioned in my last post I’ve been on a million diets and due to that I have had experiences of sitting down with a nutritionist and they would just hand me a sheet of foods to eat, that more often than not were foods I didn’t like; and then they would mostly just criticize what I had eaten the last week.

 I wasn’t interested in something like that. I’m not sure what other dieticians are like but Elizabeth is nothing like that at all. She sat down with us and asked what we wanted out of the experience and what we would like to learn.  So far she has given us some amazing recipes, meal plans, helped us walk through a grocery store and find healthy foods, and tonight we even cooked veggies together. 

I feel much more confidant when it comes to preparing healthy meals and making better choices.  That doesn’t mean I do it all the time, and I’m still struggling with the idea of planning ahead for potential “danger” situations where I may be out and about and get hungry, but hey Rome wasn’t built in a day right.

Something else I have found helpful, like I mentioned she gave me a meal plan but it isn’t a strict Monday you eat this, she just gave me a list of break fast ideas, snack, lunch etc. So what I do once a week I sit down and I plan out my entire week of meals.  I then make sure I have everything to make those meals, and I even have started coming up with back up plans when I’m making new meals in case I end up not liking them.  This is huge, I don’t always stick to the plan 100% but because I have this plan, and I then pin it to my refrigerator I never wonder what I’m going to make for dinner, I always know and I have a plan.  I think this is key so I don’t end up in a situation where I have no idea what to do so I just go out to eat instead.

So anyways those are a few of the things I’ve done to change my relationship with food.  It’s a long journey, and I’m just at the very beginning.  But what I love about it is I’m learning to not be overly critical of myself when I do stumble, or when my plans don’t turn out exactly how I planned them. 

On the Edge: Let's get personal

Well I haven’t posted in a while, I was sick for a bit and then the last few days that I’ve been feeling better I just haven’t really had any time or any thing to write about.  But I’ve decided I’m going to post about something kind of personal to me.  

This won’t be a political post, or religious post, although those probably will be coming some time down the road.  Today this is something that I’m going to share that is just about me.  So in fair warning it will be lengthy and personal, and if you don’t care to read on I don’t blame you, and will leave you with a super cute picture of Prim so you aren’t feeling left totally unsatisfied.

I am really nervous about posting this, I've had this written for a while, but I'm having a hard time hitting post.  I don't really know where to begin, so I'm just gonna dive right in.  I have been pretty unhappy in various aspects of my life for far longer than I’d like to admit and I’m so ready for a change.  There are many things I can’t change right now but my health is something I have complete control over, and I’m doing my best to take control. So about 5 weeks ago I decided to make a change in my life and started meeting with a dietician.

 Food has been kind of an enemy my whole life.  I’ve never really learned how to eat healthy and like it, I know what foods are better for me than others, but when I’m hungry I usually just don’t care.  I’ve been on just about every diet under the sun and while most have worked for a while in the long run I gain all the weight back and usually more when I go off the diet.  I decided I was totally done with diets and just wanted to learn how to make a lifestyle change on how to eat better over all. 

I came in contact with my dietician through my church and I don’t think it could have come at a better time.  I’ve always had poor eating habits, but because I’ve been working 60+ hours a week for over a year, and there is no end in sight I often would find myself eating out most days, and sometimes several times a day.  It was easy and I didn’t feel like I had time to cook. 

After meeting with my dietician, I realized this was going to be a positive change, she is constantly telling me to not think of foods as “bad” foods, she doesn’t lecture me when she sees my food log and I wasn’t perfect all week long.  I still have a long journey ahead of me and lots of changes to make in my eating habits, but I have made some pretty drastic changes in the past 5 weeks and I’m happy to report that I have lost 18lbs so far!! 

She is really great and I hope she doesn’t mind but I’m gonna give her a shout out, if you are interested in learning more about her check out her blog: enjoyeverybite.org

On top of eating healthier I have started to try and make time to go on walks with Prim through my neighborhood, I try to do at least 1 mile.  One of these days I will be able to run, my goal is to one day be able to run in the down syndrome of Louisville 5k and not just walk it and come in dead last.  I’m ok with coming in dead last if I run it… that’s entirely possible.  I also have always wanted to run in the color run 5k… one day.

  I have also started to find random time to make it to the Y to swim laps, today I swam 20 laps.  I’m sure I looked ridiculous, I always feel so self conscious being in the pool swimming laps.  There are usually several other people swimming laps in much better physical condition than I am, and I have the hardest time not thinking about how ridiculous I look. 

Why is it that I always feel like I’m out of place and don’t deserve to be in the gym working out next to incredibly fit people… shouldn’t I feel like I should be there more than them… they are already fit they’re done right (JK)?

It’s a long journey and there are a lot of negative voices in my head that tell me I’m not good enough or I won’t be able to make this stick but I’m doing my best to tell them to go away and shut up.  I do have some incredibly supportive friends.  There are few who already know about these baby steps I’ve been making and even when I make the smallest of baby steps toward the right direction they celebrate with me and make me feel like a million bucks.  I honestly couldn’t have gotten this far without them.  In fact today when I was swimming laps and the negative voices were trying to win I started thinking about a few of my friends who are always cheering me on and I thought, what would they say to me right now if they were here with me.  And honestly, I think that is the only way I was able to stay in the pool and complete the workout I had gone to do. 

I haven’t shared this with many people up to now because I have started many changes like this and failed in the past, I don’t like opening myself up and being vulnerable like this.  But I also have found lately, in social settings when I don’t go for the dessert or foods I might have normally gone for people, having good intentions, try to encourage me to eat more, and have whatever I want.  My will power when it comes to food is incredibly thin, even a little encouragement to eat poorly may be enough to tip me over. 

Also on the other end of the spectrum, I don’t like letting people know when I’m trying to eat healthy for the exact opposite reason, I feel like if/when I have a meal that isn’t exactly the most healthy those who know I shouldn’t be eating it will be judging me.  Whether that’s the case or not it’s how I feel.  So while I love having encouragement from family and friends, I also need to know it’s ok for me to stumble, that you won’t be disappointed in me for having a hamburger and chips this weekend for the 4^th of July BBQ. J 

So for those of you who stuck it out and read to the end I’m impressed… I’m sure I can probably guess the 5 people who made it this far.  But just to end I want to let you all know I love you and appreciate your love and support.  I have a long road ahead of me learning how to be healthier and make these changes.  I’m not going to get the kind of results I want as quickly as I want, and I’m going to try and not be discouraged about that. 

What I need from you all is just to let me know you care and support me.  I don’t necessarily need you to push me along on this journey, I’ve found from past experience when I’m pushed I don’t like that too much.  I have my goals and while it may look like I’m moving towards them slower than turtles stampeding through molasses, I’m moving towards them. 

The cool thing about eating healthier and being more active (even just a little bit) is I am a lot happier than I have been.  It’s amazing what a healthier lifestyle will do not just physically, but mentally.